Hi everyone, welcome back to my blog! The topic of today's blog post is all about social anxiety. A lot of social situations can be really scary. For me, my social anxiety started in high school. I lived in a small town and attended a big inner-city high school. Putting myself out there was extremely difficult. My social anxiety led me to spend most of my high school years alone. When it was lunchtime, I found myself in the library working on schoolwork instead of trying to meet new friends.
Being on a sports team also led to even more social anxiety. When I went to high school, I tried out for the field hockey team my freshman year. I had some comfort going into tryouts since I already knew the coach since my older sister was on the team. However, I only knew three other girls on the team, and we were friendly, but never became friends. I instantly realized that everyone else already knew each other, and I could already see the cliques forming. I instantly shut down, and my anxiety made me spend a lot of time alone, making it hard for me to make friends on the team. Pasta parties were scary for me, as I did not feel comfortable in that social situation. On bus rides to games, I put my headphones in instead of talking to the other girls. My social anxiety caused me to isolate myself.
When I graduated high school and was entering college I was nervous. I was going into a completely new environment. When I entered field hockey Preseason, I told myself I needed to ignore my social anxiety, and I needed to make friends. I did not want to spend the next four years of college alone. At first, I was very shy and quiet. However, after adjusting, I became very close with one of the girls on the team. I also was friendly with the girls in my grade, and I also began to come closer again. I was feeling a lot more comfortable with my college field hockey team, than my high school team.
Making friends outside of the field hockey team was a lot more difficult. The average class size at JWU was about 20-30 students. I was never the person to introduce myself to new people. I spent most of my classes just by myself. However, later in my first semester, I started a work-study job on campus. Working at the school’s gym allowed me to meet a lot of people, and I became close with my coworkers. Making friends in college was difficult, but I tried to put myself out there. Being an introvert and having social anxiety is still very challenging to this day. There is a lot of pressure in college to be a part of a clique or a group. I was trying so hard to find that. However, having a small circle has taught me, the people I do have, really care and support me. To anyone who is an introvert like me, you will find your people! The friends I have now are family to me!
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