Hi everyone, welcome back to my blog! Today we are going to talk about post-athlete life. My entire life I always played sports. I never imagined leaving sports. Not being an athlete was a big fear of mine. However, I had to realize that my mental health needed to be a priority. My mental health was more than just having the title of an athlete.
One of the biggest struggles for an athlete is time management. I noticed how much time I spent playing sports when I started having free time after I decided to stop playing sports. After I decided to leave the field hockey team, I decided to double major. Being a double major as a collegiate athlete was nearly impossible. Once I left the team, double majoring became a reality. I also was able to spend more time working at my part-time job. Not being an athlete gives me much more free time.
Another huge aspect of being a collegiate athlete was the intense workout schedule. As a collegiate athlete, I was always working out, even on off days. It was a consistent schedule planned for me week-by-week. Now that I am not an athlete, I can work out at any level I want, whenever I want. When I was in college and struggling with my mental health, it was almost impossible not to go to practice. I had to go, or else I wouldn’t get playing time. This was extremely hard for me, as my brain was racing with thoughts, and I couldn’t focus on my practice. There was one practice in particular where I was having an extremely hard mental health day. I tried to keep my cool, but when going through drills, I started crying. I was not performing my best at practice. I couldn’t even complete a pass. This was just the first practice I started to feel like this, and then it became every practice. This is when I realized I needed to leave the team to focus on my mental health.
After I decided to leave the team, I put 100% effort into my mental health. I started to see a therapist outside of JWU, I was put on medication for insomnia and anxiety, and I started to care about myself, mentally and physically. Mentally, deciding to leave the team was the best decision for me. I love field hockey, but I had to step away and focus on my health. Physically, not being able to play a sport was difficult for me to process. I was always an athlete ever since I could remember. I felt like I was losing a part of my identity. It took me a while to realize I am more than an athlete. When I decided to leave the team, I stopped working out for a while. I was really struggling, and the thought of working out made me feel sick. This was a contentious topic with my therapist, and he helped me realize I’m not just an athlete.
Thinking about this past year, I have changed a lot. I look back at my time at JWU, and it’s crazy how much can change in just a year. Field hockey was a huge part of my life, and it was very hard letting it go. Deciding to leave the team was a very difficult decision. However, it was a necessary decision. If I continued on the team, my mental health would have been completely destroyed. Sometimes you have to let go of something you love to focus on yourself.
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