Before a big game against a rival in our collegiate conference, I was supposed to be “hyped” up, ready to bring it on. Instead, I was thinking “I’m so nervous, I’m going to mess up, I can’t do this, I’m not good enough. And this is how I felt before every game. I was never confident and negative self-talk consumed me.
According to the News Room Post, performance anxiety and athletic performance can be described as
1. Anxiety before and during competition can interfere with your performance.
2. Lack of concentration.
3. Tense state of the body prevents you to coordinate movements required during the event.
4. The negative thought pattern and expectations of failure can bring about a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Let’s explore these and break them down:
First, dealing with anxiety before and during the game. This was something I struggled with a lot. I was constantly anxious, even before practice. I was so nervous I was going to let everyone down, and I just felt like I did not matter. It was such an awful feeling. It was extremely frustrating for me since I loved playing field hockey, but I was just so unhappy.
Second, lack of focus and concentration. I could never focus when playing field hockey. I was always thinking negatively, and those thoughts consumed everything for me. Even when I scored my first collegiate goal against New England College, I still was not thinking as positively as I should have. In my head, I was thinking, “wow I finally did something good.” Or, “It’s whatever, everybody scores, and I finally did.”
The physical side of performance anxiety. Before a game or practice, my stomach was in knots. I was so anxious all the time, which was physically affecting me. I also did not eat much before games or practices, since I was so nervous and I had zero appetite.
Thoughts of failure. I was constantly thinking that I was a failure, or that I was going to fail. These thoughts made me not perform well and also destroyed any confidence I had.
Dealing with performance anxiety during field hockey was very difficult for me. I was in the best shape physically, but mentally I was not in it at all. It was so frustrating to me. Why was I performing so badly? After my first season, I wanted a change. I knew I needed change, but at the time, I wasn’t sure what I needed to do.
My best friend Mariah, who I met on the field hockey team, suggested that I try journaling. Writing became therapeutic for me. I was able to write anything I was feeling, and I wasn’t pressured to talk to anyone or share my feelings if I was not ready. I still write in my journal every day, ever since my first collegiate field hockey season.
“Just because I have a thought does not mean it is true.” This quote is very important to me, and something I realized after field hockey season. I was so negative on myself, and I ignored all of the positive things that happened during field hockey season. Instead of having a negative thought, now, I try to take that thought and turn it into a positive.
This is a chart from a sports psychologist describing sports performance anxiety.
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